The Darkness and the Rose

Hidden away from the light
A blossoming flower left to die
Her potential not met
Not by any fault of her own
but that of those whose expectations
grow cold lying in minds filled with doubt and lifeless thought.
Her own mind wilting like that of a starved rose

- by Soulgirl

A poem i came across on a board, haunting.

tiramisu

The literal translation of "tirami-su" is "pick-me-up"

light chocolate pudding on top
with chocolate fingers
a fluffy feeling
whipped cream soaked in strong expresso
mixed with alcohol
a delicate balance
the sweet dreamy sensation, mixed with bitterness
lost in the feeling of intoxication
the mild hangover
numbness after sober up

an imitation of my life

drawing with PS

Wow this is tougher than it looks, my first attempt at drawing with PS. The nose took me ages. And hair is the toughest part. I looked up tutorials on drawing hair and found that drawing realistic hair require techniques that are way beyond my comfort zone. I was going to surrender and make her don a cap, but in the end i drew up something which hopefully doesn't looks like a disaster. Oh well there's always a first time anyway. Hope my model (and me) recuperate fast and pls don't be too pissed off with me for distorting her pretty face =p

coloring with ps

Remember back in primary one, during art class we will be given sheets of paper with outlines of drawings to color up. Back then i can't afford a proper set of color pencils, so i will go around borrowing different colors from classmates. I like these little exercises even though my works often looked hideous!

Today it rained the whole morning and ruined my plans. So i install a trial of Photoshop CS2 to test out some techniques from a photoshop book. I saw this section on coloring techniques and i thought why not?

Someone refused to send me her photo, so i grab a picture of some random actress off the web to use as guinea pig. I converted the picture to B/W, created a lot of masks and hue adjustment layers. No idea as to what new features are available in CS2. but it does feels "heavier" than CS1.

Looking at the end results, i think she made a right decision not to let me use her picture haha. Photoshop is fun!

回首来时路

回首来时路，点点滴滴在心头。
真爱在于过程，而不再于终点。
不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。
。。。。
真是废话。喜欢一个人，会不想跟她过着幸福快乐的生活吗？
可是现实以如此，我能怎样呢？
也没想要求什么。
只希望她能过的幸福快乐，我想我应该就满足了。
就这样吧。
视线变得有点模糊。
以前我是这样活过来的。如今也只能这样活下去。

五体不满足

『任何一个人，只要心灵是健全的，就永远不会满足 。』

是否只有五体健全才能获得人生幸福?生活中常看到残缺人士努力过着正常生活，乐观进取。有些人生來四肢健全，却过着昏暗消沉的人生。我总是懒懒散散的过时间，什么都不去想，也不想去做。感觉就是生活空虚无聊，身上的压力却越来越大。
近期发生了一些事，让我感觉到人是很脆弱的。乘着还健康时，我应该调整生活目标，调动自己的潜力，来充实一下生活。希望我的朋友能珍惜現在，全力以赴来争取自身的幸福。

『 珍惜自己、活在当下』

how are you, friend

How do you define a friend? For me a friend is someone who will be there for me. One i can confide in and can be trusted to keep it secret. One i can count on to kick me in the ass when i deserves it. Someone i can call on at 1am when i am upset and they don't get mad. Someone who will spend the day with me and bear with me when i am down.

In the past i have been disappointed and letdown by people i considered friends. So i grow into this habit of keeping a distance from people at work. I act dis-engaged towards people and when i move on i leave memories of the people behind. Simply put i have what someone calls a bloody attitude towards people. Very negative view i admit, but one i feel justified when i see the antics of my co-workers.

There's someone I have known for a quite a while but never really communicate with. Recently we started hanging out and i discover under that detached demeanor she's a warm, sensitive and generous person. I can talk to her comfortably without having to put on a mask. She cares enough to point out my flaws, and suffer my silence willingly when i am feeling down. It took a few years, but I found a new friend.

My friend has not been in a good state for a while. We don't interfere with each other's private life, but i feel i must communicate to her directly on the problems she is having. She has done the same for me and I will do so because i care for her, a dear friend.

Peace of mind is attained not by ignoring problems, but by
solving them.
- Raymond Hull

The secret island

Remember The Secret Island by Enid Blyton? The series were a favorite of mine back in primary school. One day at work I felt deflated, tired and empty. I took a book from the library shelf and started reading. The title of the book is the secret island and as i read it's like revisiting my childhood. I hunt around at used book stores for the books and today i completed the series with the secret of spiggy holes.

Some themes are present throughout the series - loyalty, friendship, courage, spirit of adventure. I still hope to be as adventurous as those kids in the book and disappear off to some island to chill out. Well if i ever do that i will keep my promise to inform my friend first haha.