Saturday, April 30, 2005

悲しい

How could i have lost it...
Ane-chan had made my day by making me a pudgy little replica. Back home i was lying down on the bed reading the card when i realize the figurine was not in the bag(!) The next 30 mins i spent in vain looking up and down for it....Probably slipped out of the bag when i was in the train or something. I am still hoping it will turn up somewhere in the room.

The figurine is the fruit of Ane-chan's heart and effort, and i love and appreciate it. How can i repay her? I am sorry and sad for being so careless. Please forgive me, i let you pinch okie.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

What do you do when you check into a hotel room?

turn on all the lights

put DND sign on the door

put the luggage on the table

turn the tv on

check the bedsheets to see if they are clean ones

take off shoes and put on slippers

open up the cupboards and drawers to see if they are empty as should be

check the bathroom for toiletries supplies and fill up the bathtub

look thru the window at the scenery and look for any landmarks to visit

soak in bath tub. can be dangerous at high altitude..i went to this place which was 3000m above sea level and i got a nose bleed after bathing.

lie down on bed and channel surf. I like to see the local advertisements for they can tell you what the local culture is like.

Look at the room service menu

zzzzz......

Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Cab Ride

I normally delete forwarded emails without viewing the contents. I chance upon this story when i randomly open a FW: email and it affected me emotionally and got me thinking a little so i saved it into the harddrive. See what you make of it.

The Cab Ride
Author - Unknown

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep. But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some party-ers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 AM, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".
"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".
I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers," I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

R.I.P. Scott R. Lemmon

I just read about the death of Scott R.Lemmon and i was stunned for a while. He is the author of a web filtering program called The Proxomitron(Prox). I don't know the guy but his little program has transform my surfing experience upside down and benefited many people. I have been using it for a long time, 3-4 years, maybe even more? Prox is basically a filtering engine that lies between the internet and the browser. Ok, so what about it? You can set rules and proxo will amend webpages as they load in the browser. Hate the ads? You can replace them with a smiley. Don't like flash? You can replace the flash file with a URL to the flash. With a little HTML knowledge you can change any webpage to your liking. It requires no installation and runs quietly in the background. This is one program i will gladly pay for, yet it's free!

Scott has stopped development for a long time after suffering character attacks by a user who criticized a feature of the program. Did he creat this
webpage knowing his clock was ticking? It's sad he stop the development of the program under such duress and i wonder if he was already suffering from a condition. Condolences to Scott's family. He has moved on but his program will continue to help the web community.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Mike the headless chicken



Mike the Chicken got his head chopped off and live on for 18 months. He acts like a normal chicken, walking around and went through the motions of pecking for food. Please picture a headless chicken pecking for food and you will agree with me it's not easy!

Think about how much of a brain you need to go about doing your daily work.
In mike's case(and mine), not a lot. Many a times when i am rushing around like a headless chicken doing mindless work, i think to myself did i go thru more than 10 years of schooling for this shit?

Mike's will to live despite his considerable handicap was celebrated by many people. I should learn from Mike and try not to think much during work as it's too difficult to understand and reason with the crazy ppl at work. Too bad he is not well known here as he will make a great mascot for the year of the Rooster :o

Sunday, April 17, 2005

[转]有拾就有得

心中之鸟
我们的心住了很多小鸟,日夜叽叽喳喳的吵个不停,让自己不得平静。如果我们把心中的鸟笼打开,让鸟都飞出去,这样,内心就会宁静了。放开心中鸟,不要不得

心 窗
一栋房子如果没有窗户,温暖的太阳就无法照进来,新鲜的空气也不能飘进来。我们人也是一样,『心窗』没有打开的时候,就会感到气闷;『心窗』打开了,心才能够通达,心灵的视觉才更清晰。一旦窗户打开了,心灵的空间也就豁然开朗,对於一些事情也能看得更透彻了,如此再来解『空』的道理,就能消化『有』的烦恼。如果看得到内心空的好处,你就要赶紧腾出空来

蒙古包
人若希望离苦得乐,获得自由,就要开悟自己的心。 心若是没有开悟,就像包得紧紧的蒙古包; 在蒙古包,看不到天空、海洋,也看不到绿地。 心没有打开,怎麽可能不生烦恼呢? 所以,我们要开悟自己的心,像太阳一样光明, 只有在明亮的天空下,看一切才都无障无碍。把心打开,让太阳照进去,心才会明明亮亮的

水入大海
碰到大小的事情、烦恼的事情, 我们都要能够忍、能够包容, 就像大海纳百川一样, 大海毫无选择的将河水、溪水、排水沟的水...... 通通纳入其中,而成一味--味。 海有各种不同的水,但不影响海水味, 我们学佛法就要有这样的心, 任何事物都接受,对任何事物都能够化解, 最後体悟空性的滋味。不论是臭水、溪水、河水,一旦流入大海,都变成了海水

雕冰的心情
工作就像雕一座冰宫,在灯光照耀下,五彩缤纷、光耀夺目,但水晶冰宫最後总会融化。专心从事工作,是非常好的,但是如果心情太过沈重,就会很累、压力很大,所以,要用雕冰的心情,轻松愉快地完成,不要太执着、太认真,但是要用心雕刻

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

莲花

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去图书馆借了本Photoshop(PS)教程书, 看了几章后就找了张图片试看PS的色彩调整工具。会选用了一张莲花图,是因为想起了朋友说的蓮花出污泥而不染的一番道理。这张图的颜色有点淡,正好让我试用色彩调整工具来设法改进。

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改后的效果并不理想。叶的颜色过暗,显出花颜色太过鲜艳而且看起来不自然。
我在Baby的家读了本经书,有章比喻高原之地不生莲花,把自己弄得太清高、太高超,离开人世一切,等于把蓮花种子种在山頂上,永远不会开莲花。 这张图看起来有点儿这番道理吧。

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从头做起修改了后,这次的效果让我觉得是比较满意的。花和叶配起来看得比较舒服,颜色也比较自然 。莲花种在烂泥中,出污泥而不染,反而更清净 、更芬芳。看着看着觉得不错嘛,但在跟原来的图比较后,还是觉得未修改的莲花看起来比较清晰自然。人放下面具做回自己是最美的吗?还是我的PS技术太差了哈哈。

以前觉得PS很复杂,现在使用后觉得还蛮有趣的啊!

Monday, April 11, 2005

He <-> She

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
======
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
=======
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
========
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
=======
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
=======
HE: Your face must turn a few heads
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
=======
HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
======
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
======
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
======
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
=====
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it
=====
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
======
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
=======
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
======
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
======
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
=======
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
=======
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
========

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Baby

I was startled awake by the sound of the alarm clock ringing. I was feeling so disoriented and groggily reach over to hit the snooze button. It's really dark for 7am. My consciousness returned and i reach for my mobile phone to see 6am. I thought someone must have set the alarm clock time quicker by an hour, brilliant...Then my mood turns from irritation to bemusement as i realize who the culprit was. Baby has been playing around with my clock the day before.

The first time i saw Baby she was sleeping. She was wrapped around with a tower, just like a popiah i thought ^^ . I was actually a little afraid of her and just marveled from a distance, she looks so tiny and fragile...Next time i saw her she has just pass her 1st month. I remember her crying most of the time, probably frightened by people crowding around her. She looks really cute when she quiet down. I carried her into my arms and she started crying again :(

Over the months i saw her on numerous occasions and noted the changes. She can now walk a few unsteady steps supported. She can recognize people and surroundings quite well. Someone was carrying her around and of course she started crying. She was gently placed on the floor and i thought it amazing how she immediately crawled over to her mother at the other side of the room. She is very much a crybaby, but when she is quietly sitted down and look curiously at the surroundings she looks like a little angel. I sat down beside her, set my phone cam to self portrait and gave her the phone so she can see herself. She hold the phone and look at the screen for a while, then hold my beloved phone to her mouth and started biting. Strangely i don't mind it at all...

And even now, instead of being irritated i feel a little proud of her. She has been fiddling around with the clock to turn on the LED backlight. At least she didn't slow the clock and make me late for work haha. I must have mellowed a little...

Baby's 1st birthday is coming real soon and we are having a party for her.
Happy Birthday, Baby.

Sunday, April 3, 2005

wally on stress

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When we see frens in distress or under stress, we will feel obliged to help out and offer our advice. This can be quite tricky and i sometime feel awkward doing so because it's easy to n.a.t.o (no action talk only) when you are a spectator on the outside of a situation looking in. I try to avoid acting like a smartass, just be there for them if they need help. And people sometimes ask you for an opinion when they have already made up their mind, just looking for reassurance. I am one of them kekeke

case 1 : This guy treats his gf like dirt and is always looking for a fling. After the gf gave him the boot and hooked up with someone, he mops around, acts like an asshole and generally got on everyone's nerves. He keeps trying to win her back, talking about his love for her while on the side he has already found another fling. I find him to be the possessive dominant type who wants to makeup because he got ditched. You want to break? Fine, i will break on MY terms, not you. I want to tell him that we don't owe him a living and he best stop acting like a wimp, but in his case it's better for me to sit back and watch the show.

case 2: This guy is infatuated with a girl who's attached. He chauffeurs her to and from work everyday, sometimes disrupting his work. All the while the girl is giving him mixed signals, sometimes even discussing her relationship problems with my fren. The interesting thing is when he met with an accident, he called her but she reacted passively and did not visit him in hospital. Only when he bought a car, THEN she got friendlier with him. To us it's plain that she is playing him. He asks if he should continue doing this, and of course we encourage him to give it up. He will nod while looking distracted, and then run off to pick her up after receiving her msg. I realize when we are talkin to him, he may be listening but he is not listening. I told him to go for it and wishes him luck. It's obvious he has already made his mind and he is just looking to us for encouragement. Since he is happy to continue this way, just let him be.
真心爱一个人,不是去占有她。而是希望她永远幸福,快乐, 仅此而已。
I don't know if he is thinking this way, but may it be that he gets lucky and the girl actually falls for him. No one can get thru to him so this is something he has to work out on his own.


case 3: work related stress, work fatigue, performance anxiety. In this area i am an expert on feeling depressed, so i have a more sympathetic approach. Management guru Wally has a very good theory on performance anxiety in the cartoon strip on top and i find it reflects the working environment more accurately than any self-help books. Very interesting but i won't be sending it out as generally stressed up people don't appreciate jokes and smartass remarks. I just try to commiserate with fellow sufferers as i know the feeling, help out in little ways if i can, and send them little things to help them relax.

I won't be going into the counselling biz anytime soon as i will probably be telling patients to just snap out of it lol. Good news is my counselor J, on her birthday, has managed to make a troubled teen see the light. Great job!

Saturday, April 2, 2005

Happy Birthday J!

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Happy birthday To You,
You Were Born in the Zoo,
With the monkeys and Kangaroos,
Happy Birthday to you!
=p

Thomas Edison

april's fool day



Normal day in the office, only the students playing some kiddy planks on one another. My project is not progressing well and looking at the situation i think it's going to end up a disaster. And as usual people around me ask me to help them with this and that and so i can't work on my own project. sigh i really must learn how to say N + O = NO!

In the afternoon i was setting up a pc for this lady and it got boring, so i make small talk. She is a software programmer and has been working for around 8 years. I remarked how she looks much younger than her age and she became friendlier ^^

We talked about how depressed the IT industry is, with a small market and oversupply of IT grads and cheap influx of foreign talents. I have no interest in programming and am so sick of doing IT support, and asked her what skills should i go for to upgrade myself. She gave me some advice.

Certification courses like mcse and j2me have to be renewed on every version upgrade and don't compare to the tangible value of a degree. Go for biz and IT dual degrees, like marketing or accountancy with IT as they offer more value and opportunities. In the IT industry, besides support and programming, there is consultancy, project management and of course sales.

What a drag.

Back then I chose to study IT because i like games and well IT was the IN thing and it sounds more exciting than engineering and biz. How my working life differs from the vision i had in school. Would i have made the same choice if i had a mentor like her to advise me...At times when i am doing yet another meaningless brainless task i wonder what the hell am i doing here... i don't belong here...looking at my career possibilities after ...i still have no answer.

Met up with frens for a vegetarian dinner. It was a nice experience, the food tastes great, and i will come back next time to try other items. Food aside, the atmosphere seems a little quiet compared to the previous outings. I don't know is it because all of us are feeling down, but i hope it's not due to my presence! To add to the solemn mood, we discussed on the senstitive topic of religion and boy was I impressed when K gave a 5 min talk on the role of religion in her life. I also learnt that J is involved in youth work in her prayer cell, and that both of them intends to volunteer as counsellors. I am humbled by their dedication. For me I have no such noble ambitions, i will be happy if they can chillout and relax for a while with the stuff i passed them.

Back home watching national geographic, i notice how similar human and animals are, technological advances aside. You learn and you work and you die. I wonder if religion helps people find a sense of purpose in all this.

They told me to try cucumber slices for treatment, but arrrrgh i can't help but think of salad!